Title: The Paradox Cure
Genre: MG Science Fiction
http://lindamclaren.blogspot.com/2011/10/logline-3-paradox-cure.html
Bioengineering genius Amanda Shine has a trash-talkingpipistrellus bat, a bonobo ape with personal-space issues, and a snow leopard on wheels. Good thing, because Amanda will need all their help to rescue her missing mother and save Earth’s dying animals—going extinct thanks to widespread amateur genetic engineering. Problem is, both her mom and the potential cure for extinction are nine billion miles away on planet Paradox. She’ll have to suck up to smarmy real estate mogul H.C. Chafey to make the trans-universal hike. And Chafey has plans of his own for Amanda’s stratospheric I.Q.
This is good. Nice and quirky for MG Sci Fi and the writing is solid. I've nothing to add.
ReplyDeleteGreat job! Good luck to you.
I like this! The first sentence feels a little wordy, but otherwise it works.
ReplyDeleteHope this helps! Good luck! :)
I really like this, too. It's a little long, but the voice is great and I get a good idea of the conflict and the plot. You might be able to combine the last two sentences--something like "To make the trans-universal hike, she’ll have to suck up to smarmy real estate mogul H.C. Chafey, who has plans of his own for Amanda’s stratospheric I.Q."
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I agree with Tara's comments. I sort of got hung up on the bonobo with personal space issues, considering what the species is famous for...not a MG subject.
ReplyDeleteThat's funny, Heather. I took the bonobo out and just made him an ape. thanks for your comments, all!
ReplyDelete