Saturday, October 27, 2012

BD One Last Chance Logline #1

TITLE: The Duel
GENRE: Historical Romantic Suspense /1730s Britain

A Scottish baronet’s daughter anticipates a marriage of convenience to an aristocratic cousin until her aunt’s matchmaking goes awry and a rakish Lowland baron vies with his sworn enemy for her affections. He doesn’t expect to lose his heart or find her leading a Jacobite conspiracy while he spies for the Crown. Can he save the Prime Minister without betraying her confidence, or will exacting his revenge on her cousin cost him her love?


  1. This sounds like a complex and compelling story. For me, as is, the logline just has too many characters and plotlines. Is there a way to narrow the focus instead of trying to cover so much ground? I'm not sure who the main character is. And the last line really confuses me ("exacting revenge on her cousin"). Is the 'her' here the Socttish Baronet's daughter? Or the Prime Minister's cousin?

  2. This sounds like a very interesting story. I'd just suggest to reword the last sentence so it's not in the form of a rhetorical question. Agents usually don't like those.

    Good luck!

  3. Hello, friends, thanks for the suggestions. Here's a super-short revised version. Feedback welcome!

    When a bungling government spy falls in love with a politically connected heiress, he doesn’t expect to find her leading a dangerous conspiracy or need her help tracking down his brother's killer.

  4. The second version is definitely clearer, although you've lost the historical feel. I think even if you just added something like "Britain, 173?:" to the front of your logline it would remind us that it's a historical novel. Good luck.

  5. I totally agree with K Callard! Nice job reworking this.

  6. Thanks, folks! This is helpful. OK here's another version, a little more specific but still short:

    A reclusive British spy falls in love with a Jacobite-sympathizing Scottish heiress who knows the secret to catching his brother’s killer.