Drego's journey to stop the evil conqueror, Gordar, takes him far from home, into the arms of a headstrong young woman, and to a darker, more violent part of himself he hadn’t known existed.
"When Drego's journey to stop the evil conqueror Gordar takes him far from home, he finds himself in the company of a headstrong young woman and a darker part of himself he didn't know existed."
I just think that makes it sound a little cleaner. Good luck with this! Sounds like fun.
This is a well-written logline (though I agree with Authoress about cleaning it up even more). I feel like it lacks specifics, though or maybe that I've seen something similar in the past that makes this feel less original than it probably is.
"When Drego's journey to stop the evil conqueror Gordar takes him far from home, he finds himself in the company of a headstrong young woman and a darker part of himself he didn't know existed."
ReplyDeleteI just think that makes it sound a little cleaner. Good luck with this! Sounds like fun.
This is a well-written logline (though I agree with Authoress about cleaning it up even more). I feel like it lacks specifics, though or maybe that I've seen something similar in the past that makes this feel less original than it probably is.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and happy writing!
~Dannie
This is great. I like Authoress's suggestion. You could also maybe state Drego's age.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I too ditto Authoress's suggestion.
ReplyDeleteI like the tightness of this but would love if you could give us a sense of location somehow in just a couple extra words. Good luck!
ReplyDelete