Saturday, October 27, 2012

BD One Last Chance Logline #3

TITLE: Warriors Over Darkness and the Unsettled Grave
GENRE: YA Urban Fantasy

Orphaned assassin Aleera lives to exterminate daemonic creatures, but when an act of revenge becomes prime-time news in the underground world, she is identified as the hidden link to an ancient prophesy unfolding. Locked in battle between divine Warriors and daemonic lords seeking to ignite the prophesy to lead a rebellion against the Warriors and eradicate humanity, Aleera must uncover her unknown past so she doesn’t become the martyr for the rise of evil.

3 comments:

  1. This is a good line, I just have a few little rewrites to make it a little tighter.

    "Orphaned assassin Aleera lives to exterminate daemonic creatures, but when an act of revenge becomes prime-time news in the underground world, she is identified as the hidden link to an ancient prophesy unfolding. Locked in battle between divine Warriors and daemonic lords seeking to eradicate humanity, Aleera must uncover her unknown past before she becomes the martyr for the rise of evil."

    Just a few deletes to make it a little shorter but still keep the intention of your words. I like this story.

    Good luck!

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  2. I really like this, especially Authoress Anonymous' revision. Upon reading the original, I definitely stumbled on: "ignite the prophesy to lead a rebellion against the Warriors and" and don't feel it is needed. The logline is much stronger without it. Nice wrok!

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  3. Yes to the above comments! I stumbled at the same place. But with the tightening, I think it's very strong.

    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete