Saturday, October 27, 2012

BD One Last Chance Logline #57

Round 3 Original Post #29

Title: THE ROAD TO SLANU
Genre: YA/Fantasy

Lost in purgatory and seeking entrance into the gates of heaven, sixteen-year-old Katie must endure the five stages of grief to live in eternal peace or risk the horror of capture by the elusive Wanderling and be damned to darkness forever.

11 comments:

  1. I think this logline is very concise and engaging. There have been a log of Underworld books out in the market lately, but purgatory puts an interesting twist on it. Great job!

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  2. From your logline, I know that the story is going to be creative (I want to see what purgatory looks like), I know what the protagonist's challenge is, and I know the stakes are high. I'm new to loglines, but I think this is excellent -- I know I would certainly want to read the story.

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  3. Totally would want to read this. Love the dark stuff.

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  4. Great job! I wouldn't change a thing.

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  5. Sounds like an interesting read! I wouldn't change anything either.

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  6. It's clear and short. Is it a kid's version to Dante's Inferno? Sounds interesting.

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  7. Wow, I love this logline and find this premise equally intriguing! It sounds edgy and dark, a story that is definitely up my alley. I wouldn't make any changes, it's already trimmed perfectly. Good luck!

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  8. Thanks so much guys! I'm the author, and really can't say how much I appreciate your feedback! It seems I have the logline down, now to revise my first chapter (again) so it's ready to go in time for BD!!
    - Byrne

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  9. Hi again, I'm the author and actually forgot to ask if you guys think I should actually list this as a YA/Dark Fantasy rather than just YA Fantasy?
    Thanks so much again!
    - Byrne

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  10. I think it's pretty obv that it's dark w/o specifying...

    Though fwiw, I preferred Authoress's version from the round on her site bc the bit about the stages of grief leaves me a bit confused.

    Perhaps there's a more general way to say? Like, "...must come to grips with her own death before she's captured by the (still think you can find a more telling adj than elusive...after all, that just means he/she eludes...something. And what does that tell us about him/him?) Wanderling and be damned to darkness forever."

    But I can see I'm a minority on this one... Lots of other positive feedback from others.

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