tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post1981967734700812392..comments2023-04-23T16:33:39.062-04:00Comments on K.T. Crowley: December Buyer's Remorse #7K.T. Crowleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08211266985396588133noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-29299224048079713282011-12-18T16:07:37.289-05:002011-12-18T16:07:37.289-05:00I like the suspense building up that leads to the ...I like the suspense building up that leads to the camera shot, and I would keep reading at least a bit longer. <br /><br />My only criticism would be that the first paragraph didn't work for me. The line, "But on a cold Oklahoma morning in December 1956, this faculty failed him" could probably be tightened, because I got stuck on it while reading. It feels too packed with information. Is there another way to communicate some of these details, such as Oklahoma and 1956? Can you refer to "Oklahoma" elsewhere? e.g. "But one cold December morning, this faculty failed him"?<br /><br />Otherwise, as I said, I would definitely keep reading.L.S. Taylorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14027508427079449613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-6382152372681730812011-12-15T02:32:10.503-05:002011-12-15T02:32:10.503-05:00Also, it should be DUAL exhaust, not duel.Also, it should be DUAL exhaust, not duel.Feaky Snuckerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17481513779668517971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-7365944852545476192011-12-15T01:28:38.633-05:002011-12-15T01:28:38.633-05:00I love this! It really ropes me in and I've le...I love this! It really ropes me in and I've learned so much with such few words. What a wonderful introduction!Jacynth Richhttp://jacynthrich.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-45198202133727288432011-12-14T21:04:40.439-05:002011-12-14T21:04:40.439-05:00I love the tone you've set up with this. It...I love the tone you've set up with this. It's a small town and something bad is going to happen with Bucky (making us afraid of him), yet we don't know what yet. You've got us on the edge of our seats.KimberlyFDRhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01969245120222671022noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-48345272815218289292011-12-14T20:56:09.631-05:002011-12-14T20:56:09.631-05:00I agree completely with Feaky. The whole sample k...I agree completely with Feaky. The whole sample kinda has an eerie vibe to me, maybe because I know it's a mystery and because you tell us up front that his ability to predict what a customer buys fails him. This Bucky guy freaks me out, and I don't even know why since he seems harmless enough. Overall, great tone, pace, and voice...I'd love to read on.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15525362690272102453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-36089520467233110042011-12-14T20:12:31.842-05:002011-12-14T20:12:31.842-05:00I like the town councilman being the owner of a ca...I like the town councilman being the owner of a car dealership. It's fitting, though he seems a bit young to be a councilman - though that could just be where I'm from. You're not trying to jam too much into the style, which makes it interesting, straight forward and easy to read. I like the voice. By not trying to make it super stylized, it doesn't feel overdone. While the car analogies are descriptive, the reader isn't bludgeoned with them. I'd read more.Feaky Snuckerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17481513779668517971noreply@blogger.com