tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post2613273552988166653..comments2023-04-23T16:33:39.062-04:00Comments on K.T. Crowley: March 2012 Test Run #1K.T. Crowleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08211266985396588133noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-80645890599741247102012-03-31T18:07:16.428-04:002012-03-31T18:07:16.428-04:00Have to agree with the above comments. Remember d...Have to agree with the above comments. Remember distilling down to fewer words, more apt phrases can enhances the power of the writing.Stacy Bennetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13725893049379422490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-19422388745749926852012-03-30T10:13:53.046-04:002012-03-30T10:13:53.046-04:00I enjoyed this poem and can relate to it.
I agr...I enjoyed this poem and can relate to it. <br /><br />I agree with Skywriter. Take out the extraneous words - pare it down. It will make it fresh and crisp. <br /><br />Good job.S.A. Husseyhttp://www.planted-n-paged.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-67859985290388381402012-03-30T08:04:27.233-04:002012-03-30T08:04:27.233-04:00Deep thoughts, I almost don't want to intrude,...Deep thoughts, I almost don't want to intrude, but I think you can pare it down for more impact. For example, the "thousand thousand" would work as one "thousand." Think about stronger words in the almost cliche "every journey not taken, every task left unfinished, every lost opportunity." Maybe "every abandoned journey, opportunity passed by," or some other fresh descriptives. <br /><br />When you can use one word, use only one. "It is the voice of a small scared boy..." You can take out "scared." It is shown in the next line.Sarah Floydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11202671048418865629noreply@blogger.com