tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post6356259661403769553..comments2023-04-23T16:33:39.062-04:00Comments on K.T. Crowley: Logline #14K.T. Crowleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08211266985396588133noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-66002892518738481712011-10-18T00:20:10.441-04:002011-10-18T00:20:10.441-04:00The first line works, but you need to work on the ...The first line works, but you need to work on the next.<br /><br />A thought:<br />When she is attacked by the monsters, she must (more specific goal) and avoid dying in the process, or come back if she does.Heather Hawkehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16098673743504191567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1940209088259004106.post-48587180909040541252011-10-17T23:22:19.041-04:002011-10-17T23:22:19.041-04:00This sounds like a great story, but this logline i...This sounds like a great story, but this logline is a bit choppy. It needs to flow better. I'm not getting a clear sense of why she's facing these monsters. Are they the antagonist or is it the man? Using what's above, maybe something like this might flow better:<br /><br />Special Agent Alexandra MacPherson's forte is arresting sociopaths, not decapitating monsters who replicate through their victims. She'll do what she has to to solve an ugly case, though, even if it means accepting help from a man she barely knows and doesn't trust. <br /><br />Then adjust the last sentence to make more sense, it feels incomplete to me, like the consequence is missing. How would she come back? <br /><br />I hope this helps! Good luck. :)K.T. Crowleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08211266985396588133noreply@blogger.com